chiller blog

Posted May 26, 09 10:27 AM

Over Six Feet Under

Remember that scene from Burnt Offerings when Bette Davis learns that some funeral parlors, well, deliver? And naturally, the coffin shines with a polished sheen. The hearse is sparkling black, the driver bloodless and pasty.

Call it convention, cliche, stock, style over substance. As mortuary science-fiction goes, the genre has taken significant license with the first two-thirds of that moniker. Of course, horror themes emulate a revolving carousel of fears, most of which skirt death. By default, professions pressed into service following a mortality experience become inherent in the images soaked up by scare audiences.

But how much of this staple representation can be viewed beyond the norms of suspended disbelief? CHILLER sat down with David, an easy-going, fun-loving dude who also happens to be a mortuary science professional serving California.

Chiller: As Madeline Kahn once asked in Young Frankenstein, "What is it that...you do do?"

David: I provide professional embalming and preparation-related procedures such as handling, bathing, and disinfecting human remains, autopsies/post-mortem examinations, human dissection, tissue procurement, and embalming/injecting human remains to temporarily arrest tissue decomposition. This includes preparation for human remains for local, state, and international travel. I also provide post-mortem plastic-reconstructive surgery for individuals dying from traumatic injuries, and dress, casket, cosmetize, and style hair. Additionally, I serve as a liaison bereavement counselor/facilitator, funeral director, and funeral establishment manager...and consultant for all facets of the industry from Central to Southern California.

Chiller: Do you find that your profession has a 24-hour expectation about it that erases a social divide on your time off? Like, you're a funny guy, but maybe you can't laugh too much...or you work hard, but maybe you shouldn't kick back as much?

David: Yes, the profession does have that expectation. In my early years, I handled literally everything, and was on call 24/7. Now, as with most businesses, we make use of answering services to handle calls after hours. In my specialty, I am frequently called on my free time - which is usually annoying. Any time I make plans on my days off, chances are I end up scrapping them.

Most people in the industry do have a sense of humor, so working in the profession is not as depressing/morbid as one would think. Staff members usually tell each other jokes, clown around, discuss current events, play practical jokes on one another, and generally have upbeat personalities. Most have a wicked sense of humor. It's only in dealing with families (that) you tend to behave seriously...unless the family has a blase attitude and uses humor to deal with their grief process.

Chiller: So are you ever alone, doing prep work...and you start thinking about certain movies?

David: 99.99% of the time, I work alone. Hmm, no movies come to mind. I usually listen to music or watch television: News, sports, or a reality series. Just for background noise.

Chiller: But are there aspects about your work that still unnerve you?

David: I've always had a gung-ho attitude about my work. Have kept my cool in dealing with situations I wasn't accustomed to. Figure I have to be strong for individuals since I'm in a profession where most people turn to during a death experience and require advice and leadership in dealing with grief symptoms.

Chiller: You know, the horror genre really has an unfair tendency to align certain occupations with a pre-supposed chilliness: The clergy, morticians, sanitarium employees, aging estate lawyers. So there you are - sittin' in your seat, chompin' the Milk Duds. What images are you seeing where you're thinking, "Ugh. They got my profession wrong - AGAIN?" Maybe the night visit to mortician Tony Todd in Final Destination?

David: Most of the horror genre depicts morticians as being very serious: Alcoholics, anti-social, lacking personality...introverted overweight pale men in their 50s and 60s who also have a fetish for human corpses. The majority of the time, outdated procedures and methods - even supplies that have been discontinued for years - are depicted!

Actually, the past fifteen years has shown a large increase in women entering the profession. It's projected they'll soon take over the reins of this male-dominated field. These days, it's 50/50...there is also a younger group entering our workforce (18-to-30 year-olds) - I've even noticed a number of these professionals displaying multiple tattoos and body piercings. Ethnicity is also a factor, and these days, there's an increase in the number of gay morticians.

Chiller: Well then, conversely, has any film stuck with you because it was spot-on in depicting your career world? I'd love to hear your thoughts on Six Feet Under.

David: SFU was just okay...wasn't too crazy about the fact that they made every character seem dysfunctional. Most of the colleagues I've known in my 23 years of the profession are everyday people like you and me. Drama in the work environment comes primarily from the family/clients we serve. Our jobs are quite similar to social workers, always being mediators of family squabbles within the families we serve.

Chiller: This is something I've always wanted to ask a mortician: Why are all of the coolest old houses funeral homes?

David: Quite common in the Midwest, East, and suburbs. Funeral homes of the past were operated by families who also owned separate businesses and used the homes for furniture shops, casket manufacturing, ambulance services...most families wanted to create a peaceful, homely atmosphere - rather than a cold, sterile environment.

Chiller: Okay, you've got the podium. Future horror mavericks are going to lap up what you're about to say. In depictions of characters and incidents surrounding mortuary science, what would you like to see more of/less of?

David: I'd like to see less dead bodies sitting up...it just doesn't happen. Dead bodies don't talk, nor do they come (back) to life after being embalmed or in advanced stages of decomposition. I think the horror film needs to be revamped on this issue – these days, nothing surprises me.

Seeing death case scenarios... or even getting ideas from Forensic Files is helpful.

Chiller: Thanks so much, David. Guess I'll see you later.