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Mike Kalvoda

Mike Kalvoda


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  • CHILLED 2 THE CORE

    Posted Jul 27, 09 02:31 PM

    Going in Style

    Final Destination

    (Warning: The following blog contains spoilers. Just letting everrrrryone know so I don't get hate mail. The junk posts from the pharmaceutical companies and the disgruntled viewers who think I'm the CHILLER Complaint Desk are enough)
    ________________________________________________________________________


    There seems to be a perverse, often disturbing trend in horror. It's kickback from the slasher sensibility that often lowers genre credibility: a preoccupation with finding inventive new ways to kill people. Hey, I really respected the fleshed-out reboot of The Last House on the Left. But the head-in-the-microwave finale almost seemed as if studio brass forcibly escorted it in from another movie.

    This cycle seemed to have started around the mid-'80s, when fresh teen casts were as cyclical as they were expendable. Machetes and axes no longer cut it. Jason Vorhees started shoving flares in people's mouths while Freddy Krueger's finger knives got traded for five digit hypodermic needles.

    Yeah, I should talk, huh? When I was writing the Final Desination comic book spin-off, Zenescope Entertainment VP Ralph Tedesco got on the phone with me twice. To add MORE violence.

    Mercury poisoning from a cracked thermometer was out. A fatal “embrace” with an exam room skeleton was in (Within forty five minutes of our call, I had also suggested a brain being fried from a cat scan gone wrong and an X-ray machine whose lens lowered right through someone's face. “You sick bastard,” Ralph intoned). A neck snap shattering the viewing panel of a glass bottom boat was modified. This time, the poor scuba diver went through the glass, getting a shard right down his throat. Hey, there's no shying away from the “what” of the content. But to see the "how" - the panel layouts, literary pretensions of narrative, and the class-it-up touches - is to realize how creative sweat can render palatable any material.

    I've written numerous spec scripts that have led to great meetings, even a couple of writing assignments that I can't wait to share with you, down the road, from development to...fingers crossed...production (Love the sound of that). Although I insist on a grounded, dramatic approach - even within the fantastic - once in a while I get the perfectly normal question of how many characters I've killed.

    Hmm. Let me think. Oodles.

    Good sport/good friend Maggie Mogil says each of my spec scripts leaves her with a death image that she can't erase from her mind; I'm especially flattered by the body pulled like an inverted C into an oversized drain. I wonder how she feels about the drowning under a pool cover, the roman candle in the mouth, and the unfortunate shmo blendered by helicopter blades inverted at a ninety-degree angle.

    Keith Dinielli, creative exec with Matt (City By the Sea, The Replacement Killers) Baer Films, calls me "Spooky Mike." My manager, John Broker of Gravel Road Entertainment, was talking to a client when he used my name as an adjective for creepy tone.

    ...Ah...thank you?

    But I assure all of the above parties. And reassure. And then re-reassure. I'm quite fine.

    Look, the indelible DNA of horror convention is fear, and that first push-able primal button will always be the fear of death. There's no escaping the threat of violence, be it physical or psychological. Aestheticism separates effective restraint from queasy gratuity, satisfying expectation while not shattering the audience's trust. Style is the solution.

    Style redirects ugly detail into, yes, potentially stunning art. There's a world of difference between the Psycho shower scene and Leprechaun 2's death-by-cappuccino machine, between the squeamishly thrilling elevator murder in Dressed to Kill and electrocution-by-car-battery in Silent Night, Deadly Night II. Style, as Brian (Carrie) DePalma will attest, employs the language of film, constantly seeking reinvention. Artists don't want to repeat themselves, much less anyone else. Reinvention doesn't repeat.

    It's the difference between us having a conversation now about David Warner's character experiencing a rather bloodless plate glass decapitation in The Omen (1976) vs. David Warner's character getting club sandwiched by a truck. Actors know a great entrance. They also know a great exit. Naturally, the other names brought up with that shocking bookmark underscore the remarkable handling of easily exploitable material: Director Richard Donner, writer David Seltzer, costar Gregory Peck, composer Jerry Goldsmith, editor Stuart Baird, DP Gilbert Taylor (Just IMDB and see the caliber of their work).

    But, ultimately, it comes down to not just clear talent, but also tone. Having a sense of humor is crucial when working within such grim subject matter. The key is not to crack a smile in front of the cameras or on the page. Unless you're Sam Raimi or Peter Jackson, horror-comedy is a brutal sell as horror and a tricky tightrope with no net below. Fall and your film's destined for Puppetmaster corner at Blockbuster.

    There's nothing funny about Paris Hilton getting car-speared in House of Wax (2005). Which is a shame, because there's nothing even remotely scary about it, either. So what are we watching? Make up your own jokes here.

    « Back to Blog

    COMMENTS

    Just go away. You bore us.

    I tried to watch a movie on your channel for the first time and until the last 45 minutes, I was enjoying it. Then the commercials and program promos started, five, maybe six minutes worth. Then back to the movie for five minutes, back to the commercials. I know this is how you make your money, but I have too many choices to put up with this. Wonder if anyone else is clicking off? Ray

    I tried to watch a movie on your channel for the first time and until the last 45 minutes, I was enjoying it. Then the commercials and program promos started, five, maybe six minutes worth. Then back to the movie for five minutes, back to the commercials. I know this is how you make your money, but I have too many choices to put up with this. Wonder if anyone else is clicking off? Ray

    When you have a mini-marathon of "Tales From the Crypt". it seems that you only show the same 3 dozen or so from the first 3 seasons of this show. I would appreciate it if you could show all of the episodes from the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th seasons and the episode titled "The Secret" (originally aired 7/31/90)from the 1st season. It seems that this episode is always missed. Thank you very much.

    When you have a mini-marathon of "Tales From the Crypt". it seems that you only show the same 3 dozen or so from the first 3 seasons of this show. I would appreciate it if you could show all of the episodes from the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th seasons and the episode titled "The Secret" (originally aired 7/31/90)from the 1st season. It seems that this episode is always missed. Thank you very much.

    Chiller TV, channel 168, seems to be blacked out in Ossining NY. Called Cable Company. They cannot find a reason for this. Is anyone else having this problem. Today is Tuesday, 07/29/09.

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    Hi Chiller. Can you guys please show the old Amazing Stories episode called "Go to the Head of the Class"?
    Thanks.

    You guys show the same thing all day long almost everyday!
    please please mix it up a little

    You guys show the same thing all day long almost everyday!
    please please mix it up a little

    I am a military veteran. I appreciate the USO. Unfortunately your over and over repeating of the USO ad is ruining your network! Lighten up! Then $ can't be worth ruining the viewer experience.

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    Ok...So, scenario for ya...let's say you've been watching "Chiller" for a bit now...almost since it's launch, and in the beginning, there really wasn't much on in the way of programming, but you still enjoy a good portion of the stuff you're seeing. Now, let's say that you're the creator & producer, etc...etc of a GREAT (no exaggeration) late night horror host movie showcase that would be just PERFECT for this network ...And let's say you've gone to the site, (this one) and tried for AGES to find a contact to submit the show to (??????) and nothing! (WTF?) even your "viewer hotline" is nothing more than the same old recording over & over...So, please...if you will...kindly tell me how the HELL I can actually get in touch with a person affiliated with this station for the submitting of a program that is PERFECT for Chiller and I'm sure you will agree. Thank you, that is my rant.

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    Sinister Minister,

    Under Archives, click on the very bottom, "About Mike Kalvoda". That will give you contact info to ask your question directly.

    Sinister Minister,

    Under Archives, click on the very bottom, "About Mike Kalvoda". That will give you contact info to ask your question directly.

    I got interested into your series Point Pleasant. I would like to know when it will come on again or the schedule for it. Thanks.

    So this sparks a question for me, Mike. What is considered okay to put on the screen and what isn't? I mean, in graphic novels it's pretty much anything goes--I read too many horror graphic novels not to know that. I can see where the gorier the better can be the mantra. But where is the line drawn for cinema? Or is that something only The Powers That Be at the MPAA can answer?

    Hey Andrea,

    In the early to mid-80s, following the success of HALLOWEEN, major studios were grabbing up ANY slasher film to distribute (GRADUATION DAY, SLEEPAWAY CAMP). The only way for these films, in essence, to compete with one another was to outdo one another. Case in point: HALLOWEEN II's go for the graphic offings -- a far cry from the rather bloodless original.

    What the MPAA was allowing to pass with an R rating became mortifying. It furthered the divide between sexual content being demonized (ANGEL HEART got an X rating for an additional 15 seconds of dripping chicken blood in a a love scene). But the violence quotient in the FINAL CHAPTER and A NEW BEGINNING installments of FRIDAY THE 13TH was through the floor. Death scenes became protracted, and extended takes dwelled on the victims' suffering while certain audiences began to cheer, not fear, the villain. Disturbing. (The MPAA can be a shadowy organization. I recommend the docu THIS FILM HAS NOT YET BEEN RATED which explores the odd secrecy surrounding its lack of uniformity and clear guidelines.)

    For me, tone and restraint are everything, even when "delivering the goods". Style can make any kind of content palatable. But artists, filmmakers, and writers are responsible for the images they create and put out into the world. A lot of the intuition comes from listening to your gut, putting yourself in the viewer's/reader's position, and pushing them to -- but not over -- the edge. Once you have lost an audience, they are gone. The storytelling bond is violated. The bottom line: respect the audience, and take them someplace they've never been... and do it carefully and responsibly.

    The best horror gets under our skin -- it doesn't want to rip it off. It puts possibility in our minds -- it doesn't necessarily want to eat our brains (although I adore Romero). And it continues to scare us long after we've finished viewing it... as opposed to shock, which only wants to attempt to titillate us for a few seconds.


    Generally I do not post on blogs, but I would like to say that this post really forced me to do so! really nice post.

    Generally I do not post on blogs, but I would like to say that this post really forced me to do so! really nice post.

    It would be nice if you showed some Vincent Price type horror as well. You guys show too much of the same crap.
    However, I do thank you for bring back Poltergeist: The Legacy. I loved that show.

    How about including Horror Historical facts as FYIs or bday themes;HP Lovecrafts Bday Marathon.

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