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Mike Kalvoda

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  • CHILLED 2 THE CORE

    Posted Aug 31, 09 02:48 PM

    CHILLER Presents Follow That Bird

    The Cat and the Canary

    Most viewers won't recognize the title The Cat and the Canary. But certainly, we all know the story. And it goes something like this.

    Cue the offstage howling wind machines...

    A long-since expired patriarch. A shadowy mansion on a night of particularly foul weather. Greedy and innocent relatives - mostly greedy - assembled by a shifty estate lawyer to hear the reading of a will. (Incidentally, this stock scene is well spoofed in a deleted scene from Young Frankenstein. But I digress).

    Then, during the night...one by one...everyone...begins...to...vanish...

    Hidden passageways are discovered Candelabras, not flashlights, are the preferred method of illumination. And that earlier police house call - you know, the one warning about an escaped lunatic, the one nicknamed "the Cat" and bearing those strange, hairy hands that creep up on the mouths of unsuspecting victims who are always looking the other way - welllll. It may be more than a warning.

    The first time I ran across this plot was on a re-run of Scooby-Doo (By the way, there's a rumor that in one episode, Fred/Velma/etc. don't solve the mystery. Does anyone know if this is true? I can't sit through all of those "I would've gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you @#$! kids!" 's to find out).

    But some plots are more memorable than the actual films from which they're lifted. Take The Creature From the Black Lagoon. Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl to prehistoric aquatic terror. Lose the 3-D and this is a pedestrian piece that hasn't survived the test of time. Likewise to those Edgar Allen Poe adaptations Roger Corman cycled through in the ‘60s - The Pit and the Pendulum and The Fall of the House of Usher. Although they are handsome productions that earn marks for escapism (and pushing writer Richard Matheson to the forefront), none of the entries truly rose to the level of definitive "nailed it"'s.

    The Cat and the Canary was adapted first as a silent film in 1927. It's accessible and atmospheric - you can truly sense the unheated gloom. But after a terrific first act, nothing that follows is memorable. And that's always been the biggest shock.

    The premise seems to have never let go of it's staginess, a quality that worked far better for Agatha Christie's diabolical mystery weaves of The Mousetrap and And Then There Were None. But as horror, what's required to create suspense is narrative economy and a deliberate, cautioned pace - a weakness of the material not improved by either subsequent version (a vaudeville-cracking Bob Hope head-scratchingly helms the 1939 rendition - out of print; class act Oscar winner Dame Wendy Hiller disappears far too quickly from the 1978 remake - which should be). And all three incarnations stop treating the mansion as a character - especially the startlingly blase corridors of the last film.

    So the filmmakers start over-plotting under-developed archetype characters. Always deadly: quickly moving around figures to which we have little connection. And untangling their story threads isn't inherently entertaining. Check out how much fun you're not having with the incessant scurrying around and endless guessing games of the Gothic house send-up Clue.

    The closest cigar goes to cinematic cousin The Old Dark House (1932). Certain plot elements spill over: Melvyn Douglas and beau have car trouble in a monsoon of a rainstorm, taking refuge at the lights-out dwelling of one Horace Femm (the drippingly good Ernest Thesiger).

    Yes, Horace Femm. If you're born Horace Femm, your options in life are limited to creeping out strangers in need.

    Naturally, the host and his sis have ghoulish secrets to spare, including a brother dead-bolted upstairs. Standout credits include Boris Karloff, Gloria (Titanic) Stuart, and Charles Laughton, plus crisp and deliciously sneaky direction by James (Bride of Frankenstein) Whale.

    But, ultimately, I don't want cat and mouse. I want cat and canary. Write it down on life's to-do list: Must make definitive version of The Cat and the Canary.

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    COMMENTS

    As a Poltergeist Legacy (PL) fan, I can't believe the programming blunder CHILL is making. Airing the episodes in sequence is nice, but not essential, except for 2-part episodes. Coming up on 9/6/2009 is the first of a 2-part episode: Traitor. Part 2, Double Cross, is preempted on 9/7/2009 by the First Knight marathon. When PL continues on 9/8/2009, they skip part 2 and continue with the Brother's Keeper episode. What's the point of airing Part 1 if Part 2 is not aired, unless they want a lot of irritating phone calls? They must have a genuine MORON in charge of their programming. It's NOT too late, CHILL, if you want to fix this!....

    As a Poltergeist Legacy (PL) fan, I can't believe the programming blunder CHILL is making. Airing the episodes in sequence is nice, but not essential, except for 2-part episodes. Coming up on 9/6/2009 is the first of a 2-part episode: Traitor. Part 2, Double Cross, is preempted on 9/7/2009 by the First Knight marathon. When PL continues on 9/8/2009, they skip part 2 and continue with the Brother's Keeper episode. What's the point of airing Part 1 if Part 2 is not aired, unless they want a lot of irritating phone calls? They must have a genuine MORON in charge of their programming. It's NOT too late, CHILL, if you want to fix this!....

    I am not happy with the schedule change - moving Millenium up to 6:00 PM EST

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    I'm so glad I found this site...Keep up the good work

    I'm thrilled to have just found this site (we just got new satellite). Yesterday I had Dark Shadows (several episodes in a row)rolling in the background while I worked. I liked that they were in sequence but am really disappointed you don't have ANY of them scheduled to continue playing. Any chance?

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    I want to express my appreciation for the Chiller Channel! It is wonderful that such a station exists for fans of the horror genre!

    However, I am very disappointed in the last year or so with Chiller's refusing to show more OLDER horror movies. There are way too many Sci-Fi movies on Chiller, that often have nothing to do with horror or suspense. There are so many classic films that Chiller could show, making it an all-time great station instead of good. Here are some examples:

    The Exorcist
    The Omen (original)
    Carrie (original)
    Rosemary's Baby
    The Entity
    The Last House on The Left
    A Nightmare on Elm Street
    Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
    Child's Play
    The Amityiville Horror (original)
    Re-Animator
    The Stuff

    As for series, how about picking up:

    The Hitchhiker
    NightTerrors (Get This Back and show some old horror movies)
    Elvira's Movie Macabre?

    There are generations of people who have not seen these classic films. Ratings would be dramatically increased if these movies and series came to Chiller, because it would open up new opportunities, allowing the station to show older films that defined what a horror and suspense channel is supposed to be.

    Three or four constantly repeated movies a month is not anywhere near enough variety for this station, which could be doing so much better! A plus was the recent showing of the ORIGINAL 1980 flick, Prom Night! Now that type of older movie that shows suspense or horror is what Chiller should be showing more.

    Thank you for your help!

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    So you hook me into watching Stephen King's Golden Years. Never seen it and enjoyed it for SEVEN HOURS. Would it of been to much to expect you to show the 8th and FINAL episode. Was it really important that after 7 episodes of an 8 episode series to run a Ripleys Believe it or not. Even a 9 year old would of been able to make a better programming decision. What were you thinking...good god.

    I was wondering if you cut off the captions off ALL of your programs I'm in my 50's but hard of hearing ,some movies do not have them , but ALL of the last two days movies were not captioned, why, Mrs. Davenport

    Can someone please tell me what the hell freddys nightmares is? I mean I know WHAT it is but I have never seen it, Im new to this station.. I was told this show was a series.. But if it was it would be on once every week right? Im not seeing it anywhere... Im confused

    Thank you for keeping Freaky Links alive! Keep show those episodes!!

    I originally thought a horror channel would be great but everytime I turn on Chiller network it's in the middle of some damn series marathon that i have no interest in and sometimes has nothing to do with horror. I'm sorry but twin peaks in the stupidest show and completely has nothing to do with horror. Anyway, is there really a need to show a marathon of a tv show every week that only consisted of one season's worth of episodes to begin with. There are so many horror movies that have the chance to be shown but all this channel seems interested in is tv series that weren't good enough to least more than a couple of seasons in the first place. On average there is 2 movies shown per day (if there is more it is because the first 2 are repeated). I just think that showing a tv series marathon everyday is alienating alot of horror fans that don't particulary like that show (in my case most every tv series on the network) Chiller hardley ever shows any actual movies and when they do most of the time they suck eggs. There are so many movies out there that could be shownn in which case i would watch the channel more but i guess that would cut into Freddy's Nightmare's time (this show blows goats) it did when i watched the the first run episodes back in the day and it did not get better with time.

    The Forever Knight Marathon is awesome, thanks so much. I have loved this show for years.

    The Forever Knight Marathon is awesome, thanks so much. I have loved this show for years.

    The Forever Knight Marathon is awesome, thanks so much. I have loved this show for years.

    hey why havent they picked up buffy the series yet not a channel on cable are running episodes

    hey why havent they picked up buffy the series yet not a channel on cable are running episodes

    I was disappointed that the second part of traitor on Poltergeist Legacy as not on the followering day. I hate that. I love that show and looking forward to watching that after work.

    Like Chiller alot but do wish some of the older horror shows could be on. There are alot of them out there

    Like Chiller alot but do wish some of the older horror shows could be on. There are alot of them out there

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