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Mike Kalvoda

Mike Kalvoda


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  • CHILLED 2 THE CORE

    Posted Sep 14, 09 12:39 PM

    Passport to Terror

    HEX

    I’ll never forget backpacking across Europe.

    Watching a Steven Segal movie with scratchy Czech subtitles (choose your own lesser evil). Seeing fourteen - or was it fifteen - millennium-old streets converge in Rome. And then sleeping outside in the cold at a train station in Austria, where the hotels - and public restrooms!!! - close for the night at 8 p.m.

    But we left our mark. Ohhhhhhh, yes...

    I digress.

    Pseudo-intellectuals lumbering around java houses slighting American cinema in favor of international titles conveniently forget the principle of exports: Only the cutting edge gets crated up and transported stateside. China and India, for example, annually produce literally hundreds more movies than this country - without the presence of Gong Li, Chow-Yun Fat or any Bollywood game show contestant in The Hot Seat. And, crucially, many simply lack the production standards viewers here don't realize they're accustomed to: Editing continuity, pin-drop clear sound mixing...and keep moving down the below-the-line. Check with customs: There's no junket sailing a junk full of their junk our way.

    But the world's shrinking - and the entertainment world's not exempt. For as technically bumpy as the works of last generation's trifecta of Italian horror directors - Dario Argento, Mario Bava, Lucio Fulci - what's emerging from Europe, in particular, has polished-smooth packaging, even if their end results - like that non-continental bitter soda, to whet the appetite - are acquired tastes (I'm still trying to figure out that spicy hot Yucatan snow cone I wolfed down at the ruins in Chichen Itza).

    So let’s do a little unpacking and see what we’ve brought home. Hmm…

    Aside from the hear-all-evil, see-very-little-evil They, French genre pics are getting nastier, almost as an offshoot continuation of torture porn. I've always purported maintaining tone in horror. Be my guest and push the envelope - but most audiences will check out at the first sign of revulsion. Take Irreversible, its plot twisted backwards to forwards, which questionably centers around the ugly revenge of a brutal rape, and the preceding humanity which follows. A Cannes Film Festival nominee, it's potent, but (in my opinion) pointless. Better - but relentlessly bloody - is Inside, a Christmas Eve pregnant-woman-in-jeopardy shocker that (**SPOILER ALERT**) provides a villain no American studio exec would ever touch. Martyrs is a labored exercise in plotting, shifting between resounding ultra-violence, schizophrenic reversals, and back to resounding captive ultra-violence. Its grotesque denouement, although ingenious, seems a full-on labor at which to arrive.

    I admired, however, I Stand Alone, the dire tale of a life-loathing Paris butcher whose seeds of hate voiceovers are so impassioned yet so love-lacking that it's chilling to even begin to comprehend his point of view. If there's one film that didn't deserve a shred of redemption via a rather forced ending, it's this one: The most nihilistic work I've ever seen.

    After that, anything's cozy. I looked to Belgium and Calvaire, which earned allusions - oh, I wouldn't go that far - to the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Its narrative is wicked: A road show actor runs afoul of a seemingly kind innkeeper with more than his share of closet skeletons. But the single greatest find from abroad wasn't from Asia - those Japanese remakes deserve their own article. It was - holy shmokeys - from Sweden. Let the Right One In is a gentle vampire deconstruction - an artful, incredibly effective hybrid of the sacred bonds of childhood friendship colliding with the absolutely real terrors of bullying. It's been too long since Frankenstein's monster handed that little girl a flower…er, before heaving her into the river.

    Global likes and disses are a game of "love me, love me not." To the French, Jerry Lewis is an auteur. In Brazil, where carefully veiling crucial plot twists may be regarded as a strange concept, Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho was released as The Man Who Was His Mother. The brutal London critics rallied around Michael Cimino's studio-killer, Heaven’s Gate.

    But let's talk TV, where hit imports - like Mexico's Ugly Betty and Britain's Millionaire Mountain turned Who Wants to Be a Millionaire - sometimes lend to Americanized remakes. But that's no longer the crossover prerequisite it once was. As part of "Culture Shock" (Sunday nights beginning at 8:00pm ET), CHILLER happily keeps the inn open late (aha...), keeping the light on for international guest series Hex and Sea of Souls.

    Both shows are British imports. Sea is a lesser the known commodity - a Scottish turn on parapsychological investigators - with a very grounded scientific angle, not to mention all the brogue accents. Naturally, there are comparisons to The X-Files. But at the risk of upsetting its fan base, better not mention any parallels with Hex - especially that one about it being an English knock-off of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.

    Personally, I'd have likened it to Charmed...right down to the opening credits smash-montage set to the tune of a rock ballad ("I would die for you-ou..."). The audience target is clearly the high school set, with the de-emphasis on villain foreboding at the expense of relationship woes. Here, the handsome on-location setting is Medenham, a stately British boarding school. We meet outsider Cassie and her even-more-of-an-outsider pal, Thelma (who none-too-secretly loves Cassie). The intrigue deepens when our heroine unlocks the manor's secret: An unspoken love affair involving voodoo sacrifice. Soon, evil forces in the shape of fallen angels led by Azazeal cross over, pulling an emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual tug of war with old Cass.

    The requisite otherworldly soap opera plot twists ensue. Demonic offspring, cavernous rooms forever lit by well-stocked candelabras, and jackal-like soul eaters abound. But where the series truly breaks ground is in the relationship corridor. How often do you find a mainstream program where a lesbian ghost fawns over her flattered, well-adjusted straight gal pal?

    Only not in America.

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    COMMENTS

    Why can't Chiller show some of the good old Hammer Production Horor films made in the late 50's through 70...all the good Dracula movies with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Also the Vincent Price movies based on Poe stories and poems. How about reruning the old Dark Shadows soap with the bloopers because it was originally shown live. I know the younger folks like all the CGI and the modern vampire stuff from Japaneese comics, but I will bet there are more Boomer views like me who prefer the stuff we saw growing up.

    Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren,

    als Finanzkaufmann kenne ich http://gomopa.net seit über 10 Jahren! Schon sehr oft konnte mir dieses Forum erhebliche Hilfe leisten, ja ich muss sagen sehr viel Hilfe, z.B. wenn ich mich über die Seriosität verschiedener Anbieter des Grau- und Finanzmarktes erkundigte.
    Was mir an Gomopa.net besonders gefällt ist die harte Art mit der gegen Abzocker vorgegangen wird. Im deutschsprachigen Raum habe ich noch kein zweites Forum gefunden, dass ein dermaßen klares Deutsch spricht!
    Daher steht der Server auch nicht in Deutschland, ein besonders wichtiger Punkt, wie ich finde.
    Für jeden Finanzdienstleister, aber auch für jeden Anleger, finde ich Gomopa.net genial! Mag sein, dass die Community des Forums ab und zu den nötigen Stil vermissen lässt, aber das zeigt lediglich die Art des Marktes auf dem dieses Forum agiert!
    Aber das ist es was ich brauche!
    Auf Gomopa.net finden Sie mehr Wissenswertes, als die meisten Kanzleien von Rechtsanwaelten und Steuerberatern bieten können und Gomopa.net fasst Themen an, an die sich sonst Niemand herantraut.
    Außerdem reden die Tacheles.
    Das alles laesst nur ein Fazit zu: Wenn es Gomopa.net nicht gebe, es müsste erfunden werden! Genial und eine Datenbank die ich nicht mehr missen möchte!

    Ich hab auch einen heissen Tipp bekommen was Service angeht, ich habe die Rufnummer der Servicehotline bekommen, die mich direkt mit den Insidern von Gomopa.net verbinden.
    Einfach genial!
    Versuch es gleich mal aus!

    Tel.: 0900/5466672

    Oder melde dich gleich hier an:

    https://gomopa.net/F...p?page=Register

    Mit freundlichem Gruss
    Frank Steinmeisner

    Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren,

    als Finanzkaufmann kenne ich http://gomopa.net seit über 10 Jahren! Schon sehr oft konnte mir dieses Forum erhebliche Hilfe leisten, ja ich muss sagen sehr viel Hilfe, z.B. wenn ich mich über die Seriosität verschiedener Anbieter des Grau- und Finanzmarktes erkundigte.
    Was mir an Gomopa.net besonders gefällt ist die harte Art mit der gegen Abzocker vorgegangen wird. Im deutschsprachigen Raum habe ich noch kein zweites Forum gefunden, dass ein dermaßen klares Deutsch spricht!
    Daher steht der Server auch nicht in Deutschland, ein besonders wichtiger Punkt, wie ich finde.
    Für jeden Finanzdienstleister, aber auch für jeden Anleger, finde ich Gomopa.net genial! Mag sein, dass die Community des Forums ab und zu den nötigen Stil vermissen lässt, aber das zeigt lediglich die Art des Marktes auf dem dieses Forum agiert!
    Aber das ist es was ich brauche!
    Auf Gomopa.net finden Sie mehr Wissenswertes, als die meisten Kanzleien von Rechtsanwaelten und Steuerberatern bieten können und Gomopa.net fasst Themen an, an die sich sonst Niemand herantraut.
    Außerdem reden die Tacheles.
    Das alles laesst nur ein Fazit zu: Wenn es Gomopa.net nicht gebe, es müsste erfunden werden! Genial und eine Datenbank die ich nicht mehr missen möchte!

    Ich hab auch einen heissen Tipp bekommen was Service angeht, ich habe die Rufnummer der Servicehotline bekommen, die mich direkt mit den Insidern von Gomopa.net verbinden.
    Einfach genial!
    Versuch es gleich mal aus!

    Tel.: 0900/5466672

    Oder melde dich gleich hier an:

    https://gomopa.net/F...p?page=Register

    Mit freundlichem Gruss
    Frank Steinmeisner

    i used to love this channel, but now it sucks. too many commercials, and you play too much twin peaks, this show sucks, today you have 7 hours of twin peaks, what the hell??? show more scary, ghostly, gross, ect shows, not a stupid soap oprah!!!!

    I used to be a devoted viewer. Now I think I have a little taste of what a part of hell must be like. How in the world can you show the same commercials over and over again every several minutes? I'm a horror fan and I used to look forward to your programming; now, it's like you interrupt commercials to show a movie, instead of the other way around. It is totally ridiculous! Fire your program director(s)!

    I agree with other viewers about the repetitive commercials. Very tiring and boring! And irritating! I am becoming less of a fan due to this. And now you have taken off Strange - The Series! I didn't get to see them all - 7 episodes. Will you run them again in the near future??

    What is this show Haunted about? I have watched a few episodes but I am lost on what is going on with Frank. Why does all this creepy stuff keep happening to him...he is a detective and I get that but what is all this other stuff about?

    How can I get a list of music and artist they play on Haunted? Amazing whoever arranges it.

    Is there a chance we might see episodes of Boris Karloff's Thriller on the chiller channel sometime in the near future?

    Is there a chance we might see episodes of Boris Karloff's Thriller on the chiller channel sometime in the near future?

    Is there a chance we might see episodes of Boris Karloff's Thriller on the chiller channel sometime in the near future?

    I don't know how everyone else feels but here lately programing has really gone down the toilet. These shows that they are playing like Poltergeist the legacy and I can't remember the others but they totally suck; they're not ever good let alone scary. I want to see scary movies and I hope Chiller doesn't disappoint us on Halloween with BS movies.


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