Posted Nov 30, 09 02:47 PM
Dark Blue
In The Silence of the Lambs (I knowwwww, it's not a horrrrrror moOOvie!), C. Starling - trainee, FBI - enters a darkened room, gun brandished, and immediately feels a blindside to the temple.
Buzzer. No pass-o test-o.
Of course - and if this is any kind of spoiler to you, usted esta mucho behind on your viewing - full-circling this moment as a life-real test (complete with a gimme-some-skin serial killer at the blackboard) defines the skilled thriller's climax.
As suspense cops go, Jodie Foster's is rare. That is, you'd feel safe if her Oscar-winning character wore the gun holster in your family. But, hey, most badge-carriers are, literally, a dyin' breed in the genre. These are the donut-chomping, black coffee-chucking overweights who stake out the perimeter of potential victims only to inevitably become victims themselves, blissfully unaware of modern life-saving conveniences such as rear and sideview mirrors. These are the idjits - usually in their fifth or sixth decade on the planet -- perennially leaning over Myers/Vorhees to "make sure he's really dead." These are the expendables in uniform who, when everyone else has the novel idea of haulin' A, sacrificially remain behind. Let's see. Bullet number four - another direct hit to the heart - didn't halt our Unbeatable Monster. Maybe shells five, six, click will do it?
And no one ever aims for the head.
Think your chances of surviving a hackfest decrease with teenage coupling or supporting actor billing? Try making it out alive by enrolling in the local police academy.
Treating ANY character as a throwaway demonstrates, really, a level of contempt for the audience. Treating Those Who Serve as slaughter fodder caricatures demonstrates a level of contempt from the filmmakers. And I'm not even talking about all the military jeepseats who keep firing matchstick missiles at It Came From Beneath the Sea...
CHILLER took pause with Corey, an officer (and a gentleman) with the LAPD. For the record, he and his fellow badges look like they filed off a Division I football field and could single-handedly put down any disturbance over on Elm Street.
Chiller: Respectfully, what about your job sometimes makes you feel that you've stumbled onto the set of a horror movie?
Corey: Just about any crime scene or dead body investigation reminds me of a horror movie set. When you're dispatched to a location for a "welfare check" because no one has heard from a particular person in a while, you never know what to expect. In those cases where the worst is realized and you discover that someone is deceased, you're now tasked with searching the location for possible suspects, evidence of a crime, signs of suicide or natural death. It's kind of an eerie feeling searching a house with a dead body nearby, not knowing what you're going to find next.
Chiller: When you're off the clock, how often do you have a scary situation that forces you to come back on duty?
Corey: You're kind of always "on duty." Being a police officer and having seen some of the things that I've seen teaches you to pay close attention to your surroundings and be aware of who's doing what around you. You really have to be careful, though, not to get involved in things unless someone is at risk of serious bodily (harm) or death. You have to realize that being a cop doesn't make you superhuman and you're not equipped with the tools and resources that you have while on duty. I have witnessed a few serious traffic collisions while off duty where I became involved with helping out and I felt like I was back at work. I think that while off duty, I am most reminded of a horror movie when I hear a sound in the middle of the night and I have to get out of bed to go check it out. The only difference is at work I'm usually wearing more than just boxers.
Chiller: Are there aspects about your work that still unnerve you?
Corey: Yes - some pretty horrific crime scenes with children involved. That's the hardest thing in the world to witness. Also, car accidents can be rather gruesome.
Chiller: Does it bother you that so many police officers get killed in horror films? They always - like night watchmen - seem to let their guard down.
Corey: I wouldn't say it bothers me that much because it's never a fair fight in horror movies. The monster or alien or killer can never be stopped with traditional weaponry, it seems, and always comes back for more. Plus the officers generally don't run away from the threat when everyone else does.
Chiller: What irks you when you're watching a horror movie?
Corey: The poor tactics that officers always use in movies, coupled with their cocky attitudes.
Chiller: Hey, outside, did you hear something?
(whispering) Well, let me ask one more question...Corey? Uh, Corey? Yo, Corey, wait for me!!!
Posted by Mike Kalvoda at 2:47 PM